my coffee is extra strong today..

and boy do i need it.

emotional drags turned inspirational moments.
its a 1 year plan.. we're on this 1 year plan.
and so far, its working..
seeing as we began merely yesterday.

you must start somewhere though right?
right.

tired of the same scene
and she's tired of the same people
tired of the same opportunities
just kinda tired.

i try mind fucking myself by altering my state
not with substance but with words..
"im lucky & we're lucky & life is amazing"
but sometimes you just wanna have a bad day!

funny thing is, i only write in this blog
when in a bad mood...
i must come off like a depressed lil monkey.

im quite happy, trust me!
im quite the optimistic free-spirit..
but along with the "free-spirit"
comes emotions.. that i am ever so familiar with.
i just want to run away for a while..


go visit d in berkley so we can go to veronicas restaurant
she talks about going to for her birthday this april.
i miss my friends.. and having them at fingertip grasp..
and i miss summer at the beach..
w/ my lil body to go along with the black bikini i plan on buying.

i think im gonna slurp down this coffee...
then hit this inspirational block head on
and get these blasted skirts done.

whos up for a road trip? ;)

q u e s t i o n

so when do you want to talk?

l o n g b e a c h  - has my <3

lettuce w/ that?

i'm sick of being sick of being sick of being sick of.

dig?

i miss the smell of the over abused air

that blasted smog polluted wind & fizzy 'do from

too much damn moisture in the sky.

manipulated taxed driven parking spots

where v a l i d a t i o n is the smile of our morning

over drawn accounts & broken atms

"do you have a pen? cause i need a pen.. but i don't have a pen,

even tho i claim i'm a poet"

dig?

i crave that feeling you get when you feel

at home.

at peace.

at center.

with your surroundings & your lover loverlees

cause i'm sheeluvlee for that reason.

i mean.

i just want us to be.

not be too awkward

not be too much

not be in love or lust or hate or fuck or forced

or anything.

i just want to be.

dig?

dig.

my sister just called me a chalupa.

words.

inproper posture.
mistaken grin.
cheese winning
flee spinning
ill adequate
type of tone.
but i'm addicted..
or so i say.

misinterpreted gestures.
butterfly effect.
recycled picture
in the back of my head
memory fades on cue
manipulation bids adeu
and i'm addicted..
or so i feel.

permanent handicap
vibrant goosebump effect
tingling fingers
& a scent oh so sweet
yet oh so familiar
and oh so naive.
you make me hate you
and i'm addicted..
or so you think.

flirtatious grins
pleading sins
begging to be heard
drunken touchy "feelyness"
at the side of my fingers
fingertips intertwined
in that love type of grasp
you confuse my mind
but i'm addicted..
or so i plead.

no air left to breathe
no vowels left to speak
no nerves to be touched
and no minds to be made up
over done and over used
abused, ridiculed & left to dry
in that "best friend"
type of love song.
but i'm addicted...
or so i scream.

sunshine of the spotless mind me.
take my eyes and filter the sight
twist my mind and erase the spots
rewind and delete rewind and delete
rewind.
and,
rewind.
and..
but i'm addicted.
but i'm addicted.
an involuntary type of love.
free me.

will you please?
for fucks sake will you please.

class in session, fools!

ugh.
ive been procrastinating. or rather,
ive been lazy... to write A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G!
miss. luvlee has given me homework.
lets hope i ace this course.

you must write about the following :
1. mug shots.
2. effects of alcohol to your mind.
3. lack of inspiration.
4. fucked up friends.
5. overdue heartbreak.
6. lengthy love.
7. escaping reality.
8. a carrot.
9. manipulation.
10. a mirror.

and you must write about the following at least 2 times per week for the next month.
your due date is : april 2nd.
and you can not use fools day as an excuse.

I. EXPECT. RESULTS !
have fun my dear. <3




i dont know about fuc'd up friends, but my bestest better roll out to lbc this weekend.
im predictiong boozed up hooligans wanderin' the streets making history.

dont step in human shit

i wish

i could "sunshine of the spotless mind" myself
right now.

a cosmo sounds de-li-cious & nutricious.

f u c k

keep me away from anything internet, cell or even smoke signal related
while drinking.

i have a fucking problem!!
did i even know i posted the blog below?
no.

i'm in love with you taide!
when are we gettin married? ;) haha.

s

do you ever just feel... not good enough?
no matter what you do or say
how you act or look..
you're just not good enough.

well, i do right now.

d r u bk

it's amazing.
everyone drinks.
we imagine this other prson we are
im drunk so my spe.lling is horrile
but we im thinking this.
we imagine this persoin we are
we thtink this pewrons that drank a horrendpuis
armount and we jusat sit here and pya our games t
its chill.
i receoveid a leteter from afrid tinitgghtol. i gota go sew wmhytat he sadi.
xo.
0 sheens

t o d a y

i'm tired.
yawn.

- s